For you have rescued me from death; you have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in your presence, O God, in your life-giving light.
Psalm 56:13 NLT
There are no coincidences…
Last Sunday afternoon Joshua was helping me work on our farm fence. This was really cool because we haven’t spent much time together lately. Someone not far away, but hidden from us by trees, decided to unload the clip on a .45. One of the bullets came down over Joshua’s head with a crazy whirling sound and hit with a thud in the ground in front of us. Scariest sound I’ve ever heard. Hearing a bullet whizzing near my youngest and seeing him reaching for the top of his head.
I immediately got in my truck and drove up the street fully intending to run anyone down who had a gun. To kill them? I don’t know, everything was going black. I’ve gone through a range of emotions the past few days especially after seeing the shootings in Vegas that same night. My heart hurts for them so badly.
I began having graphic nightmares of Joshua being hit by that bullet and was fearing sleep. So, I stopped trying to sleep for a couple of days. I was going to a darker place and I could feel it.
I didn’t go in the barn and even think of touching someone’s cross.
I wasn’t sure what to do, so I just decided to do heavy labor everyday to wear myself out and not think or interact with anyone. I don’t believe in coincidences anymore since being closer to God.
So, I asked God, did the devil have that bullet come toward us? Did you move it’s direction to not hit his head and only go through his hair? Then I’d ask more questions in anger. I’m ashamed.
I was disconnecting and starting to look at anyone as the enemy. People I love, I couldn’t look them in the eyes. That’s when I realized this was the devil at work and that jerk’s intention all along.
It wanted me to slip, but my savior didn’t let me slip. :)
Thursday night after jolting awake in a sweat, I finally said one word.
I wanna say this too. I have written this post three times (now 4) and 5 since 8:00 tonight and the phone keeps freezing up every time I write that word HELP. The devil seems to not want me posting this!
So let’s leave it here. This story is still being written anyway.
Just say that one word to the Lord.
You are being tested and you don’t have to do this alone.
Just say HELP.
Here is a sunset from behind the barn after the storm :)
(originally posted on October 8, 2017 on divinecrosses.com)